Being a Mommy

Before I became a mommy, I thought I would record every single milestone about my baby and blog everyday and keep an upto date journal. But then I became a mommy and then I found out that even keeping up with my emails became a huge task. Everyday I promised myself with accumulating guilt that I would do it tomorrow ... but then as someone said "Tomorrow never Comes" ... so here I am today one month away from my little darling's first birthday... reopening my blog.

I am going to restart this with something a good friend sent to me and which i identify with so much:

Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom,
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on
Pooped on
Spit on
Chewed on
Peed on
Or pinched by tiny fingers

Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of:
My thoughts
My body
And my mind.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
Could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay
I had never known the warmth
The joy
The love
The heartache
The wonder
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

That's my baby Ishaan Taj ... This picture was taken 5 months for my brother's wedding. I added a twist to this picture by digitally adding the cowboy hat to it.

I write this post as a dedication to my mother to endured patiently all of my tantrums when I was growing up and yet stood by my side with the same warm smile everytime I needed her.
I just hope and pray to the Lord that I will be atleast half as wonderful to Ishaan as SHE was to me.